Opaque Intent: Wrestling and a Relationship Victory in the Ring?

By Hope Mookim


To say that World Wrestling Entertainment, WWE for short, does not exactly portray the healthiest forms of masculinity and femininity might be an understatement. To be fair, my encounters with the show have more to do with the sheer inescapability of it, and those encounters have not done much to change my mind. It’s either playing or recording on every TV in my house, and I dare not ask to be excused to eat in another room or make a peep until commercials are on. I am resigned to sit silently, staring at a wall or my dinner plate—desperately looking for anything to look at but the TV. But sometimes I can’t help but watch – with jaw dropped – some of the antics. Recently one such segment aired in which a Dr. Phil-esque session was attempted in the ring. The “mediation” was supposed to happen between a wrestler, Daniel Bryan, and his new ex, AJ Lee, facilitated by Roddy Piper.

Basically, in an earlier episode Daniel Bryan publicly broke up with AJ – in a more intimidating than tactful way. In this episode, Roddy Piper invites both parties to the ring for a discussion. When AJ enters the ring, she and Roddy Piper engage in conversation about Daniel Bryan, with AJ standing up for Daniel Bryan, who “really is a good person”. After a few minutes, Bryan has heard enough and orders AJ to leave the ring as a testament to her love for him. To Roddy Piper’s, and my dismay, she obeys and Bryan is left gloating this “victory” in the ring.

Our entire dinner table became very quiet and tense. My mother and I stared at each other awestruck.  My mother and I always like to have deep conversations about things in regular life, take the situation apart, play devil’s advocate, and examine it from all sides. This sparked one of those conversations. I’m known in my family as hotheaded and I was furious. I saw this segment as having promoted, if not instilled, a tolerance and acceptance of domestic and relationship violence. My little brother has been watching this show since he was a young child (I had NOTHING to do with that…), and I have seen how an impressionable age and this show can result in confusion about masculinity and the acceptance of violence in daily life. I wondered how many young children, and even impressionable older people, were watching this and as a result would incorporate that kind of behavior into their interpersonal or relationship schemas; this was dangerous stuff.

I was glad my mother agreed, but when we took the situation a little further we came to a new conclusion. What if this segment was the exact opposite of what we thought? Perhaps the writers were trying to shed light on relationship violence. The clip from the breakup could have been purposefully written in such an upsetting way that it generates sympathy for AJ, and thus grabs the emotion of all viewers, impressionable and otherwise. It then makes sense why WWE would create AJ as a timid young character who does not fit the general mold of the bolder WWE woman. For a bolder character, viewers may feel that she can protect herself and would not feel for her so readily (not to say bold women, or men for that matter, should be less felt for or sympathized with), but they may feel less tenderness and protectiveness towards the bolder character than the girlish and stereotypically feminine character AJ plays. In the Roddy Piper mediation, to see that AJ’s boldest moments are those in which she is standing up for Daniel Bryan, and to then have Bryan again demean her and gloat could be purposefully done to generate more hate for Daniel Bryan and more sympathy for AJ, and victims of domestic abuse everywhere.

Does this mean that WWE was trying to shed light on the horror of relationship violence, especially that of emotional abuse? Physical abuse has been thrust into collective consciousness through media coverage of cases such as that of Chris Brown and Rihanna, but emotional abuse has until now been a little less exposed though it is also extremely dangerous. But how clear was this message, if that was indeed the intent, and would the majority of viewers understand? Maybe it worked; I was seething with rage towards Daniel Bryan, more so than I was towards WWE for showing it (or promoting it as I initially believed). Maybe WWE’s intentions were good…or maybe my mother and I are just clinging to hope.

Take a look at the clip above and tell me what you think. Do you think this had a pure intent, or was a bad judgment call…or maybe both?

Hi everyone, my name is Hope and I am an intern here at Men Can Stop Rape! I am from Beltsville, Maryland and am currently a graduating senior at the wonderful University of Maryland, College Park. I am majoring in Criminology and Criminal Justice and plan on going to law school.

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SAAM 2.0: How to Use Social Media to Raise Sexual Assault Awareness

Last year when the Obama administration announced a plan to address the number of sexual assault cases at colleges nationwide, it was an important reminder to many Americans that sex crimes are a real threat both on and off campus.

Considering that every two minutes someone is sexually assaulted in the U.S., and that rape is still the least reported crime in America, it’s essential that we remain vigilant about preventing and educating about sexual violence. In a nod to April’s designation as Sexual Assault Awareness Month or SAAM, some well-respected organizations and institutions are using the power of social media to spread the word about this vitally important issue.

But they shouldn’t be the only ones. Isn’t it time we all joined forces with the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) in their bid to raise awareness about sex violence? Keep reading for a few tips on how a company, organization, educational institution or any other entity can utilize social media to spread the word about Sexual Assault Awareness Month today and always.

Spread the Word
Kudos should go to the U.S. Navy for addressing sexual assault and aggression head on. This branch of the military recently began a campaign in honor of SAAM that encourages discussions on healthy sexuality and provides tools for sailors regarding education, prevention and open communication. And guess what? They also turned to the web to publicize their efforts and motivate the general public to join in on the conversation with a Twitter campaign. 

Put Facebook to Work

Remember when Facebook was simply a place to catch up with friends or share cool photos? Well, times have certainly changed as organizations, non-profits and institutions of every size have capitalized on the massive reach of this social media giant. Now it’s your turn to get your message out there regarding SAAM 2012.

Here are a few ways to do it:

1. Keep it timely. Who wants to read about yesterday’s news? Link out to blog posts, newspaper articles and upcoming events that are up-to-the-minute and SAAM related.

2. Keep it relevant. Know your audience and only feed them content they’ll care about.

3. Keep it engaging. Don’t simply talk at people, hold a conversation. Ask a question, publish a poll and encourage likes, shares and comments.

Take it Local

Given that agencies and bodies all over the U.S. will be honoring SAAM in their own way, it’s important to make your message stick where it matters most: home. Once again social marketing offers an opportunity to reach out to your community to engage them in meaningful dialogue. What about writing an educational blog post with a link to the NSVRC’s video on creating healthy sex attitudes?. Then take that powerful statement to the next level by inviting members of your own community to enter a video contest. Let them tell their own story of how they’ve crafted healthy sex attitudes and allow other readers to pick the best entry. By inviting neighbors, friends, loved ones and other locals to share their story online and off, you’ll increase awareness and encourage everyone to join the conversation simultaneously.

Now it’s your turn to begin your own SAAM 2012 social media campaign!

This article was written by Cary Betagole of SEER Interactive. Cary has been working on promoting SAAM in his own time as well as some other sexual assault awareness resources – one being a sexual harassment training quiz and a guide for common forms of workplace sexual harassment.

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Snack Food Intervention

The above video of a subway fight was making the rounds of the internet last week. The video begins in the middle of the fight as a woman pushes a man, the man kicks her, and she kicks him back. While camera phone captured fight videos are not uncommon on many corners of the web, this video gained popularity not for the brutality of the fight, but for the interesting way it was broken up. A stoic man eating chips steps into the middle of the scrum, and his facial expression never changes as the shouting dies down and the fight ends. He just keeps eating his chips.

 It’s hard to tell exactly what was going on before the chip-ervention, but it seems to be between a man and a woman who accuses the man of following her. No matter how the fight started, it’s apparent that the fight needed to stop to prevent harm to any of the people in the subway car. Chip Man (as he will be referred to in the rest of this post) took our Where Do You Stand? campaign literally and intervened in the situation simply by standing in the middle of the fight. Chip Man’s intervention uses a few of the bystander intervention strategies we teach in our workshops and trainings: he separated the people involved, he provided a distraction, and he made it known that fighting was unacceptable simply by making himself apparent in the fight.

Chip Man’s intervention is an example of a counterstory of masculinity, a story which is in opposition to the dominant story of masculinity. When talking about being an active bystander, most people might imagine a person taking over a situation and preventing harm through her/his sheer force of will. Chip Man shows that sometimes the most effective intervention strategies are the most passive. He didn’t make a grandiose speech about the wrongness of violence, he didn’t judge either party, he just recognized that the most important action was to stop the fight and get them both away from each other. Granted, this strategy might be too dangerous in other situations (I certainly wouldn’t advise standing in the middle and calmly eating chips as a way to break up most fights), but that’s why we refer to intervention strategies as being part of a bystander intervention toolbox. You don’t need a hammer for every job, you don’t need a screwdriver for every fix, but you have those tools available to you in case you need them.

Chip Man as an active bystander is probably not the first thing a lot of people thought of when they saw this video. It would have been easy to watch it, laugh at Chip Man’s indifferent enjoyment of his salty snack as the subway descended into chaos, and move on to the next picture of a cat with its face outlined by bread. There are counterstories all around us, though, men and women who are actively making a difference in their community and working to create cultures free from violence (whether they realize it or not). Take a lesson from Chip Man: chill out, grab a snack of your choosing, and take a stand against violence in our communities.

Jared Watkins is a Development Coordinator at Men Can Stop Rape and a facilitator for George Washington University Men of Strength Club. He has interned and worked at Men Can Stop Rape since 2008 when he founded Georgetown University Men of Strength. He can be reached at jwatkins@mencanstoprape.org.

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THE MASCULINITY CONVERSATIONS: David Belt on Facilitating Men of Strength Clubs in Kansas City

We at Men Can Stop Rape (MCSR) believe that stereotypical masculinity (or any other term you might choose: traditional masculinity, hypermasculinity, hegemonic masculinity, dominant masculinity) is still too much the air that we breathe. It’s something we often take in automatically, unaware. As one of the significant sources of violence against women across the globe, as well as other forms of violence, and as an unconscious source of conflict for many men, stereotypical masculinity causes great harm when it goes unrecognized. We all benefit from consciously developing healthier, non-violent masculinities. The Masculinity Conversations is intended to raise our critical consciousness by talking about masculinity. Let’s get the conversation started.

Patrick McGann, MCSR’s Director of Strategy and Planning oversees the Men Can Stop Rape Masculinity Conversations. If you would like to take part, send him an email.

This conversation takes place with David Belt, who has been facilitating both middle and high school Strength Clubs (or what MCSR calls Men of Strength Clubs) in Kansas City for the last two years. He went through a MCSR training in DC preparing him to facilitate. David is also the coordinator of the Man Up! Program for the Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault (MOCSA), which serves as the Kansas City rape crisis center. He has over 10 years of related experience, including working as a therapist.

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WHEN HUMOR CROSSES THE LINE

by Patrick McGann

"When Humor Crosses the Line" originally appeared as a guest post on AAUW Dialog.

For two years, I drew a comic strip that was a spoof of the superhero genre. The strip was called The Saga of Anti-Rape Man and was published on the Men Can Stop Rape website.

In the story, Henry Niemeyer, Anti-Rape Man’s secret — well, not entirely secret — identity, accidentally stumbles into a wing of Sibley Memorial Hospital that is a clandestine feminist laboratory where experiments in creating female superpowers are conducted daily. A bizarre accident occurs — no one can explain how — that results in Henry developing superpowers to prevent rape. The tables are turned on Henry: Instead of being a hypermasculine superhero, his entry into the world of costumed powerhouses was overseen by women with special powers.

When I first conceived of the strip, I had doubts about whether I could pull it off. I worried that there would be too many minefields, too many possibilities that my attempts at humor would offend someone, especially women. I put a lot of thought into how Anti-Rape Man could be funny without offending, and before making them public, I ran the strips by people I trusted to tell me if I had crossed a line. In the two years that I wrote and drew Anti-Rape Man, there was only one negative response to one strip after I posted it on the website.

By writing about Anti-Rape Man, I intend to suggest that humor and responsibility should go together. In other words, we have to consider the effect our humor has on others. I know this goes against the grain. The general expectation is that if you’re the butt of a joke and can’t laugh it off, then you’re the problem. You’re lacking in the “ha-ha” quotient. You’re genetically deficient when it comes to funny genes. You’ve got no comical wherewithal. You’re kind of an uncool nerd. Everyone makes fun of you because you have no sense of humor.

AAUW’s latest study, Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School, offers insight into this conventional humor dynamic. Almost 2,000 students in grades 7–12 were surveyed, and from the results we learn that students typically don’t harass because they want to date someone (only 3 percent of students) or because they think the person likes it (just 6 percent of respondents). A lot of students — 39 percent of those surveyed — harass because they are trying to be funny. The study refers to them as “misguided comedians.” They may be misguided from our perspective, but from theirs, it seems likely that they know exactly what they want the outcome to be: shared laughter with everyone but the person who’s the butt of the joke. It’s a bonding thing. It’s a way for boys and young men to solidify their standing in a male group (according to the study, most harassers are male). That’s why it happens to someone who’s not part of this kind of group.

Consider the students who are most likely to be harassed:

• Girls whose bodies are more developed
• Girls who are very pretty
• Boys who are not athletic or masculine
• Girls who are not pretty or feminine
• Girls or boys who are overweight

The group least likely to be harassed? Boys who are good-looking. Initially, I found this almost comical. I almost laughed about it.

Instead, I thought about my respect for lines. Cartoons are all about lines. Lines form shapes and words, which in turn become characters who speak in cartoon bubbles and say and do things that make us laugh. Sexual harassment is all about lines too. Those of us who work with young men need to discuss with them when humor crosses a line, when it turns into sexual harassment and becomes something harmful. We can help them recognize that it’s possible both to laugh and to respect lines.

* * *

Patrick McGann, Ph.D. has been involved with Men Can Stop Rape (MCSR) since the organization’s inception in 1997. Patrick co-authored a sexual assault prevention strategy for the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) and oversaw the development of the HURTS ONE. AFFECTS ALL. public education campaign for DoD. He regularly gives presentations across the country on engaging men in the prevention of gender-based violence.

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